Well, after spending several hours updating and reformatting the site (thank you so much Tim Griffin for all your help) I guess I better start actually writing!
There have been a lot of changes in my life lately. Actually, not just lately…it seems as though I’ve been in transition for several years now but the most recent and drastic change is the birth of my son: Jakob.
Interestingly enough, we’ve been able to ease into most of the changes. Sure, some things go right out the window like: sleeping, going to the movies, and basically doing exactly what we want when we want to. Otherwise life seems to be continuing as normal. I’m still a husband, still a Christian, still a Canadian…I just have a new hat to wear now: the hat of Father. I’ve barely begun to understand the position and now I am one! Lord is there grace even in this?
I’ve only been a Father for around 6-weeks and one thing I noticed right away is that I greatly idealized having children. I was expecting this “instant� love to miraculously be there. Perhaps I’ve been spoiled by this microwavable, drive-thru, 30-minutes or it’s free society that we live in. I am learning once again that love is never instant. Love is alive…and life always takes time to mature. The potential of love is like that of a seed: fed well and given time love will transform into a mighty oak…or perhaps a weeping willow. Love wasn’t instant with my wife, it wasn’t instant with the Lord — love wasn’t even instant toward myself so why did I expect it to be different with my children? When Jakob was born I expected to stay up all night just watching him sleep, counting his every breath. Yet, when I finally looked down at this squirming child in my arms all I could think was, “Who are you and where did you come from?� Who is this life that I helped create – this stranger who is now entirely dependant upon me for his very existence. And yet, there’s something familiar (familial) about you; perhaps a face from a dream or a cry from some place deep within. Whoever you are and however you got here a seed was planted that night and it didn’t take long to grow! With each smile, yawn, or spasmodic arm movement the seed grows and I love him more.
Yes – within days there I was standing over his crib watching him sleep. I even counted his every breath…if checking to see that he’s still breathing at all counts 
So here we are: Beka, Jakob and I…a family of three.
I feel the adventure has just begun and I’m looking forward to every minute!
